How to Bring up a Child when the Parents are of different Religions

(667 Words)
There is no one exact method for bringing up a child when the parents are of two different religions. The needs of families differ as does the importance placed on religion by each party. Most families choose one of two methods: raising the child in both religions or raising them with one.
Choosing one religion
In some families, the parents will choose to raise the children in one religion despite the fact that the parents represent two. This often occurs when one parent is more religious than the other and would especially be appropriate if one parent does not observe the religion greatly.
In this case, how much the children actually do with regards to the religion will depend on the parent of that religion. They may go to religious services with that parent such as church or synagogue. The parent may put the child in religious instruction such as Hebrew school for a Jewish child or Sunday school for a Christian child. The parent will explain the religion to the child and what he or she believes in. They may go through other religious practices such as a Bat Mitzvah, Baptism or Communion.
Even when choosing one religion, it is important that the child understand and respect the religion of the other parent. You can explain that he or she was raised and believes in a different religion. Whether you want to explain the details of that religion is a personal decision. Obviously they will learn about it as they age.
Practicing both religions
In many cases, parents with dual religions will choose to raise the child in both religions. They may want to expose the children to both so that they can experience each or eventually choose what to adopt on their own as they grow.
When raising the child with two religions, you can expose the child to the customs of both. If the two religions are Christianity and Judaism, for instance, then you may take the child to church on Sunday and temple on Saturday. You can teach the child about both religions with the Old and New Testament. You may celebrate the different holidays such as Hanukkah and Christmas. You can send your child to religious instruction for both.
You can also ask your religious leaders to help you with your child. Your child can talk to each about the principles of the religion and learn about both. They will eventually start to develop their own set of beliefs.
Sometimes raising a child in two religions can be complicated. There are typically conflicting lessons, and sometimes this can be significant. For instance, it is an important principle in the Jewish religion that there is one God, thus if another religion incorporates a variety of deities, then this can provide confusion to the children. The child will obviously not be able to believe both of these, so you can explain both principles and let the child make his or her own decision.
Sometimes the choice will not be yours. As the child ages he or she will believe what they want, no matter what you tell them to believe in. At some point, you will have to accept the decisions that they make, even if it is not the ones that you promoted. Of course, they will be more likely to believe in the religion in which you raised them.
Raising a child in two religions can be difficult, and you may want to garner help. You can purchase a book that touches upon this subject such as Raising Your Jewish/Christian Child: How Interfaith Parents Can Give Children the Best of Both Their Heritages, Second Edition by Lee F. Gruzen, Sheila Gordon, Lavey Derby, and Joel A. Gibson.
Parents should think long and hard when raising a child with dual religions. Some parents choose to start very early with one religion, but then let the child choose so that they can focus on one. Consider what is best for you and your family.