What to Look for When Choosing a Nanny

Choosing a nanny is fundamentally different from choosing a daycare or a babysitter. A nanny becomes part of your household for many hours a week — often more time with your child than you have during the workweek — and that closeness is both the value and the risk. The right person is the difference between a calmer home and a quietly stressful one. Here is how to find them, what to actually evaluate, and how to set up the relationship so it works for years rather than months.

Decide what kind of nanny role you actually need

“Nanny” covers a wide range. A live-out nanny who works school-hours weekdays is a different role than a household manager who runs errands, cooks, and travels with you. A baby nanny with infant experience is a different fit than someone who specializes in school-age. Before you start interviewing, write down the actual job description: hours, days, primary responsibilities, the secondary ones (laundry, light cooking, school pickup), and the firm boundaries (no discipline beyond redirection, no meal prep for adults).

Posting a clear, honest job description filters out wrong-fit candidates before you ever talk to them.

Find candidates through trusted channels first

The best hires usually come from referrals: a nanny whose family’s kid has aged out, a part-timer in your neighborhood looking for full-time, a recommendation from a fellow parent. Word-of-mouth comes pre-vetted in a way that platform-based matches do not.

If you go through a paid platform (Care.com, UrbanSitter, a local agency), expect to interview more candidates and to do more verification yourself. A reputable agency does the screening, drug testing, and background check for you, and the higher fee usually pays for itself in saved time.

The phone screen is mostly about deal-breakers

Before any in-person interview, do a 15-minute call to confirm the basics: hours and pay align, transportation works, they can commit to the time horizon you need, they have a driver’s license if the job requires it, they are CPR-certified or willing to certify, and there are no immediate red flags in their explanation of why they are leaving previous roles.

The in-person interview should focus on judgment, not credentials

A degree in early childhood education is wonderful but not predictive. What you actually want to assess is judgment under pressure: how does this person handle a tantrum, an injury, a sibling fight, an exhausted parent, a sick day? Ask scenario questions and listen for calm, specific answers grounded in actual experience.

Some questions that surface real information: “Tell me about a hard day with the family you worked for last.” “What do you do when a child refuses to do what you’ve asked?” “Walk me through what you would do if my toddler fell off the climbing structure at the park.” Vague answers are a yellow flag; rehearsed-sounding ones are a red one.

Have them spend time with the kids before you decide

A trial day, paid at full rate, with you home but unobtrusive, tells you more than any interview. Watch how they get on the floor with the kids, how they navigate transitions (getting shoes on, leaving the park), how they handle the inevitable small conflict. Watch your kids. Are they comfortable? Curious? Engaged? A child who clings to you the whole time or seems anxious afterward is giving you real information.

Run the actual background check

Do not skip this. Run a real, paid background check (criminal record, sex offender registry, driving record), verify employment for the past 5+ years (call the references they provide and ask specific questions, not just “would you hire them again”), and verify any certifications they list. A reputable agency will do all of this. If you go solo, services like GoodHire or Checkr are reasonable for several hundred dollars.

Ask references the questions that matter: how the nanny handled difficult moments, why the role ended, anything they would have wanted to know before hiring.

Set up the workspace and supplies

The first weeks are easier when the home is set up for shared use. Designate a labeled bin or shelf for the nanny’s daily supplies, post a one-page household reference (emergency numbers, child’s allergies, doctor info, schedule, food preferences), and stock a comprehensive kids first-aid kit that lives in a known spot. A consistent set of childproofing across the home reduces friction during transitions and lets the nanny focus on the kids rather than the kitchen.

Pay legally and write it down

Domestic workers in the US are W-2 employees, not 1099 contractors. Paying under the table is illegal, exposes you to back-tax liability if discovered, and prevents the nanny from accruing Social Security and unemployment benefits. Use a payroll service designed for household employment (HomeWork Solutions, Poppins Payroll, or your accountant’s service) — they handle the paperwork for a modest monthly fee.

Write a contract: hours, pay rate, overtime policy, paid time off, holidays, sick days, notice period, confidentiality, and reasons for termination. The contract protects both sides and prevents the small disagreements from becoming big ones.

The first 90 days are a real adjustment

Nobody is perfect on day one. Plan a 30-, 60-, and 90-day check-in to talk through what is working, what is not, and what either side wants to adjust. A new nanny is meeting your kids, your house, your routines, and your expectations all at once — patience and clear communication in the early weeks set the tone for years.

Communicate clearly, treat them well, and pay them fairly

The nannies who stay for years are the ones whose families pay competitively, treat them respectfully (an employee, not a household helper), give regular raises, provide paid time off and benefits, and communicate clearly when something needs to change. Nannies who feel valued become some of the most important people in your child’s life. Treating the relationship that way is the single best way to keep great childcare in your home.

If something feels off, take it seriously

If your child resists going to the nanny after the initial adjustment, if you notice unexplained injuries, if the house feels different in subtle ways when you come home, do not ignore it. Talk to your child in age-appropriate language. Talk to the nanny calmly and directly. Trust your gut. The right nanny relationship feels solid; if it does not, find out why.