: How a Wife can Cope with an Overbearing Mother in Law

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(516 Words)
An overbearing mother-in-law may be a wife’s greatest nightmare, and yet it is an all-too-common occurrence. How a woman chooses to deal with such a situation can set the tone for the relationship and influence whether harmony can be reached or whether it will be all out war.
Do not be a doormat
The first thing that a wife who faces a overbearing mother-in-law should remember is that she is not a doormat. When many women first get married they are very anxious to impress their in-laws. They may allow them to overstep their bounds in an effort to keep harmony. However, this might set a tone for the relationship that is not healthy for you. The mother-in-law might start to feel that she is “in charge.” She might regularly impose upon you and/or your relationship with her son. This can be difficult for you to handle and might even cause problems with your marriage. It can be difficult to resist someone you want to impress but you need to remember that you are a strong woman and you have to stand up for yourself.
You should have the attitude that you will not give in to everything that she demands. If your overbearing mother-in-law is always asking things that you find too much, then it is okay to say no.
It is okay to ask her for some time, space, privacy, etc.
Many with overbearing mother-in-laws have constant phone calls, unexpected visits and just the mother-in-law involving herself in issues that are really not her business. It is okay to ask for some space. If she is constantly stopping over without calling, for instance, then (in as nice a way as possible) explain that you would rather she called and ask. Talk to her about why. If she is always sticking her nose into things that don’t concern her such as a private issue between you and your husband, then tell her that you appreciate her input but that it is a private matter. If she is always trying to get her way such as assuming that you will spend every holiday with her and none with your own parents, then be strong and tell her that you have different plans at times. Don’t let her get her way just to be nice to her at your own expense.
Understand where she comes from
For most, a child is the most important element of their life, and this doesn’t change when the little ones grow up. Your overbearing mother-in-law may be used to focusing on her child, and she made a lot of his decisions for a long time. It can be difficult for her to take a back-seat role. Try to understand this as you firmly but kindly stand your ground with her.
It is important for a wife to try to deal effectively with a overbearing mother-in-law for her sake and that of her husband, her children and even her mother-in-law. With strength and intelligence, she can create a relationship that is healthy and strong without wilting under the thumb of her mother-in-law.
Updated On: 09/19/2010 Published On: 09/19/2010 Article ViewerClose
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