How to get over a Grudge against a Family Member

A grudge against a family member can be a powerful thing. Such forces have destroyed families and shattered bonds. Overcoming such a grudge can bestow a positive outcome for both you and the subject of your tumultuous emotions, but how do you get over something so powerful? Consider the following strategies.
Think about what happened with empathy or decide that it is best left in the past
Depending on what happened, the best way for you to overcome a grudge might be to revisit it or to make the decision never to do so again. For many it is best to go back and think about what caused the grudge. Sometimes when we do this, we realize that it was not such a big thing at all. Overreaction is a mistake echoed by almost everyone on the planet at times, and sometimes things that seem to be of a cosmic magnitude are really not as big a deal as they seemed at the time. Also, try to look at what happened from the other person’s point of view. When we are embroiled in the middle of a battle, our views can be very monocular. You may have had trouble seeing the other person’s point of view, but looking back you might be able to understand a little of why they did what they did. In the cases that what happened was just horrible, then sometimes the best thing to do is decide that you have gone over it enough.
Understand that no one is perfect
Not even you. People are human and they make mistakes. Even if the person did something truly heinous, it is in the past. You have probably made many errors in the past as well. People can and do learn from their mistakes.
Decide that you are ready to move on
You need to decide that you want to move on from the grudge with your family member. There are many advantages to not having a grudge. You may have once had a good relationship with this family member – you can again. Also, many grudges affect other members of the family and family reunions, get-togethers, parties, etc. A grudge can just eat away at a person. Imagine being free from all of that.
Work with the person
To get over a grudge with a family member, you may want to work with them. You can talk everything out with them. They may have information that could change everything. Also, when you decide that the grudge is over then let it go. Spend quality time with the loved one and try to regain your relationship.
The best part of a grudge is overcoming it. Use the above techniques to help heal the rifts of loved ones.
Updated On: 07/20/2010 Published On: 07/20/2010 Article ViewerClose
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