How to Overcome not being the Favorite Child in a Family
(403 Words)
It is sad when one feels like there is a favorite child in the family, and it is not them. Although you cannot control the situation, you can control how you deal with it, and this will make a big difference in the ultimate outcome. Use the following tactics to overcome not being the favorite child in a family.
Understand that it is not you – it is them
Many parents will tell you that the emergence of a favorite child is an issue with a parent and not with a child. Many feel that a parent should love all of their children the same, even through their differences, strengths and weaknesses. Even if they do harbor different feelings, they should not display them. Unfortunately many parents do, but you should understand that the weakness is theirs and not yours. Your sibling is not better than you. No one deserves the favored child status just as no one deserves a less favorable status.
Value yourself
Understand your importance. Build up your self-esteem. There is so much that is good about you. Do not spend your life trying to do something in order to impress your family. Do things for yourself, and not in a futile attempt to get them to recognize you.
Talk to your family
Many people feel like their parents favored another child, but oftentimes this is simply not the case. Many parents love their children equally, but they relate to them in different ways. Sometimes the best way to overcome these feelings is to get everything out in the open. You can talk to your parents about how you feel and get their input. You may be able to build a stronger and better relationship.
Get a self-help book
You may have feelings of inadequacy from not feeling like the favorite child in your family. You may therefore benefit from a self-help book that can help your self-esteem. You can consider Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by McKay and Fanning or Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Engel.
Get professional help
For some the pain of not being the favorite child is extremely strong. You may need the professional services of a therapist to help face these difficulties. You can also consider a support group.
Although difficult, you can overcome not being the favored child. Be strong and follow the above tactics to become the person you want to be.