: Tips for Dealing with Family Members that only value Blood Lines and not Adoption

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(414 Words)
It can be very difficult to deal with family members that only value blood lines and not adoption. If you have an adopted child then chances are you love that child with all of your heart, just as if he or she were your biological child. Of course you want your family to love them as well. There are different ways that you can deal with such a relative.
The first thing you will want to do is to have a discussion with them. If they are treating your adopted child differently then you do not want to just ignore it. Your child may start to notice, but even if he or she doesn’t, you do. It is best to have everything out in the open. Explain how you feel about your adopted child. Explain why adoption is such a beautiful thing. Talk about how your love is as strong as it would be for a biological child. You can also try to have them gain empathy for the child. Most children would not purposely place themselves in a position where their birth parents had to give them up. The child only wants a family to call his or her own.
You can talk to the relative about his or her feelings and behavior. Explain why it can be so bad for the child, and how hurtful it can be. They may not even realize that they are sharing these feelings. They may reevaluate things after the discussion.
You want your family members to see how special your adopted child is. To that end, you might want to see if you can get them to spend some quality time together. You can arrange for them to have an activity just by themselves. Sometimes by simply spending time with the child, your family member might realize how special the child is and realize their mistake. They may start to value the adoptive process more.
If none of the above tactics work then you might need to take further action. If you really think that your child is being damaged by your family member then you may need to distance yourself for now. You can continue to have communication to see if things can get better. If it is a very close family member you can even consider going to family counseling together. Sometimes just time will help you get to the point that they start to view the child more as part of the family.