Friendship Issues Advice
(439 Words)
It can be a challenge when you are friends with a couple who is divorcing. You may want to stay friends with both of them, but suddenly you may be friends with two bitterly opposing teams. The following advice may be helpful in this situation.
Do not take sides
If you truly want to remain friends with both members of the couple, then you want to avoid taking sides. If you talk poorly about one of them behind their back, then it will be difficult for you to then be friends with them. If one of them starts to complain about the other, but you truly feel loyalty to both, then it is reasonable to ask that you stay out of it. Of course you can listen to them talk about their feelings but there is a difference to listening to them express their sadness and hearing them call the other names.
Do not mention the spouse unless he or she does
Different people deal with divorce in different ways. Many people do not want to talk about the other person at all. You may want to avoid bringing up the soon-to-be-ex. This will also make it easier for you.
Be supportive of both
You want to show your support to each of your friends. Divorce is usually difficult on everyone involved no matter who did what or who wants what. You can do something thoughtful such as cook food for each. You may want to try to do things for each of them so that no one feels like you are favoring the other.
It is also important not to throw them a “pity party.” Many divorcees want others to treat them like normal and not to treat them like their world is falling apart (even if it feels like it is). Try to cheer them up and remain upbeat.
Plan special things to do alone with each of them
If you yourself are in a relationship and you used to go out as couples, then it may be difficult for them to be a third wheel. You may therefore want to plan something to do with each of them to cheer them up. You may want to go out with the one who is of the same gender and have your significant other go out with the other one. Many people who are getting divorced feel very relieved just to get out and do things that are fun to take their minds off of what is happening.
Tread carefully when looking to stay friends with a couple who is divorcing. The above tips may be of use.