Tips for Telling Your Children You Are Getting Divorced
It can be a challenge telling your children that you are getting divorced. How you will achieve this will depend on a number of factors, including the age of the child, the situation, the personalities of your children and so forth. The following are tips for telling your children you are getting divorced.
Make sure that they understand that it is not their fault
Many children are going to mistakenly believe that they somehow caused the divorce. Perhaps you fought about them in front of them, and they equated that to the reason. Perhaps they feel that they could have done something to prevent it, when in most cases this is not true. For whatever reason, personal guilt can make it even worse. When you are telling them, make sure that you highlight that this is not the case.
Make sure that they understand that both parents still love them and that they are not being divorced.
Some children may feel that they are not loved anymore. When you are telling them, you will want to stress that you do still love them, as does the other parent. Stress that you are getting divorced, not them.
Do not tell them unnecessary and disturbing information
There are some things better left unsaid when it comes to divorces. Obviously how much you tell them and how much they will just be aware of will depend a lot on their ages. It may be of no use to say that one parent has cheated or any other sordid details. Definitely do not tell bad secrets or badmouth the other parent just to get revenge at the other parent. You may get your revenge but you will be hurting your child in the process, and this is not worth it. You may want to just leave it that things did not work out, through no one’s fault.
Listen to them while they respond
You want to give them a chance to speak and ask questions. They may have misconceptions about what is going to happen and you want them to have a chance to get everything straightened out least they worry about something that is not going to happen. For instance, they may be afraid that one parent is going to move away even if they are not. You want to make sure that they get a chance to say what they need to say, even if it is just to vent.
It can be difficult to tell your children that you are getting divorced. Try to do so as gently as possible, considering the above tips.
Updated On: 03/26/2010 Published On: 03/26/2010 Great gifts: When is it appropriate to give a gift of jewelry